♥ Tuesday, July 19, 2005♥
Why time can change one person easily..? so fast and sudden that hardly give someone enough time to think over what she really want.. and everything just condemmned to her... when things are still so sweet and fresh.. suddenly.. now just said.. it time... everything should be over... shouldnt hold on to it anymore... She know that she can't have everything she want nor she can give what others hope from her.. she feel so frightened.. it like she no longer be herself anymore she feel being maniputed by people... they always wanna to have a control over her.. they can;t let her have her own thinking and doing what she really wish to do.. she can't be herself and have everything of her own... (^x^) She have to shared.. her time.. her thinking and everything with the people who wanna manipute her.. This feeling make her feel so scare and heavy in her... She hate it.... She really hate it....sometimes she even wondered.. she tot she have her bf to loves her so much.. she so happy blissed.. but sometimes it isn't what she reali thought of.. and there are times... she feel that she shouldnt be so blessed.. and let her be alone instead... she can't even know whether she can be able to settle down.. when she thought she will be able to.. but no one believe her that she can do it..always have trashed all her dreams and pouring cold water on her... she felt so sad... but the person who don't believe her was actually her own boyfriend.... who always keep putting her off....... and whenever she is angry... but she just couldn't and not able to explain herself.. cos she know.. no one will ever believe her....agony and miserable thinking...she wanna be alone.... she wish to be alone..
*~*BeaNie Diary*~*@ 1:10 AM
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